Why Memoir Writers Need to Stop Predicting the Impact of Their Words

You Don't Know Who Needs Your Story

What if you're asking the wrong question about your memoir?

Many memoir writers wonder:

Is my story important enough?

Will anyone care?

Will anyone relate?

Does anyone need to hear this?

In this episode of Making Memoir Magic, Kerry shares three unexpected reminders she received in a single day about the power of words—and the impact our stories can have in ways we may never anticipate.

A client reminded her that being listened to and heard is a gift.

A reader shared what Kerry's memoir, Accidental First Lady, meant to her.

And a longtime reader of Kerry's newsletter took the time to write a letter explaining how one of her essays had impacted people beyond her own inbox.

These moments led Kerry to a powerful lesson for memoir writers:

You are not responsible for predicting who needs your story. You are responsible for telling it honestly.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why memoir writers often get stuck asking whether their story is "important enough"
• Why you can't predict exactly who will connect with your story
• How a reader's experience becomes part of the meaning of a memoir
• The question to ask instead of "Will anyone care?"
• Why your story may matter to someone for a reason you never anticipated
• A simple writing exercise to help you move past self-doubt and begin writing the story you've been dismissing

A Writing Prompt from This Episode

Think of one story you've been hesitating to write.

Complete these sentences:

I want to write this story because...

The part I'm most afraid to share is...

Someone who reads this might recognize...

You don't have to know exactly who needs your story.

You just have to be willing to tell it.

If you've been wondering whether your story is important enough to write, this episode is for you.

Because the story you keep dismissing as too ordinary, too personal, or too insignificant may be exactly the story someone else needs to hear.

Keep writing the stories only you can tell.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Making Memoir Magic. To learn more about my course, Make Memoir Magic, click here. 

Join my free Facebook Group, Memoir Magic for Aspiring Authors, where we honor your story, provide tips, create community, and help you write the story you were meant to tell. Join here!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Making Memoir Magic, the podcast where we unlock the power of your story and guide you through the magical process of turning life experiences into memoirs that inspire and impact. I'm your host, Carrie Chrysman, a memoir mentor and storytelling champion. And I'm here to help you find the courage to embrace your unique story and share it with the world. Whether you're just starting out or refining your final draft, this is the place to be for practical tips, inspiration, and the encouragement you need to write the memoir only you can tell. Ready to make some magic? Let's dive in. Welcome to the Making Memoir Magic podcast for people who believe their stories matter but aren't always sure what to do with them. I'm Carrie Kreisman, author of the memoir Accidental First Lady, and I believe that all stories have value and that if you want to tell your unique story through memoir, then you should absolutely do so. I delight in helping aspiring authors write, publish, and promote memoirs that inspire, educate, and entertain. And today I want to talk about something that I was reminded of this week. It is that you don't know where your words will land, okay? Especially when you're writing. You put it out there into the world and you don't know who is going to consume those words. And more importantly, you don't know who needs your story. I was reminded of this three different times in one day last week. So of course I had to come on and talk about it. I wrote about it in my Sunday newsletter, Life Lived and Written. And I'm going a little deeper here in the podcast to really talk about what it meant to me, but more importantly, what I discovered, even though I knew this, I needed to be reminded of it of what our words mean to someone else. And if you are a memoir writer wondering if your words will impact anyone, or asking yourself that question, does anyone care what I have to say? Will anyone read this? Does it matter? The answer to all three of those questions is yes. So when I was the first time I was reminded of that on the one day, okay, that was the first time, and that would have been enough, okay? But it was three times. But the first time came from a client that I had met with the day before in a one-on-one memoir session. She sent me a follow-up email afterwards. Now she didn't have to even do that. I don't expect clients to send me thank you notes after a session, but she did. She told me how much she enjoyed our time together. And then she wrote, In this busy world, being listened to and heard as well as supported is a true gift. So I read that last sentence more than once. Um it matters, that's all. That's all I can say about that is that it matters and it mattered to her that she was listened to, she was heard, and she was supported. And yes, those are all simple words, but what a profound gift they are. And the second reminder came about an hour later when I checked my notifications on my phone from a woman who listened to the audio version of my memoir, Accidental First Lady. She shared the review that she plans to post online. And the final paragraph of that review, which was so thoughtful, said from her, this was such a thoughtful, uplifting read that reminds us that leadership is rarely a one-person story. Behind every public leader is a network of people quietly helping make that work possible. And this book honors that beautifully. That's because my book was about life as a political spouse. So she was writing in reference to that and to the story that I was telling in the memoir. And I wrote my memoir because I wanted to tell my story, and I wanted to write about what it meant to stand beside someone whose life was lived in the public eye. But I couldn't have known exactly who would connect to that story. I couldn't have known which parts would stay with readers, and I could not have envisioned what someone might see in my experience that I couldn't see myself. So, and then there was the third reminder. I had been out for the morning, I came home, I got my mail, I opened it up, and to be honest, I knew what was in the envelope, but I didn't know everything that was in the envelope. Every year, without fail, our insurance agent, we've had him for over 30 years, sends us a birthday card for anyone in our family and who has policies with him. And now that our kids are grown, he's helped them as well. But anyway, I knew that it was a birthday card from him and his office, which is just so thoughtful. My birthday was two days ago, and that in and of itself would have been enough. But what was in the card was a typed letter from my insurance agent who also receives my Sunday newsletter. And he runs a super busy office and he cares for his wife who has some health issues. His time is not unlimited, but yet he took the time to write to me. Okay. Um, he told me that he shared one of the recent essays from my Sunday newsletter with his office staff and with his wife's caregiver. Then he wrote, Carrie, I am confident that your words have a tremendous impact on many, many more people, not just the four of us. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. So now I do not think of myself as sharing wisdom when I write. Surely if you ask me about memoir or I'm teaching a lesson, that is a form of wisdom. But when I'm just sharing my thoughts, my experiences, things I notice, the questions I ask myself, the stories I've lived, I'm just sharing in the hope that it resonates with someone and they can glean whatever they are meant to take from it. It is for my Sunday newsletter. So I guess teaching comes in all forms, but and maybe I thought more about those three experiences that happened to just come in one day. And I thought maybe that is what memoir becomes when we choose to write it down. Our experiences become something another person can see themselves in. Our mistakes become lessons that someone else may need. Our hard-earned perspective becomes a hand reaching across time and saying, You're not the only one. And I think this is where many memoir writers can get stuck. They want to know in advance if their story is important enough. They want to know before they write the first paragraph whether people will care. They want to know whether anyone will relate. It's as if they need that permission to write. And I understand that. I asked myself that many times and often wondered whether it mattered. And it's because writing a memoir is vulnerable. Every act of writing requires bravery because you're putting your words out there for others to consume. But when it comes to memoir, and these are your own stories of your lived experiences, your feelings, your thoughts, your mistakes, your fears, um, and celebrations and milestones and all the good things, but it's all vulnerability in action on the paper through your words. So what you're doing when you write your memoir is you're taking something that happened to you, something you experienced, survived, loved, lost, or learned, and you're turning it into something that people can read. And I know that that can feel terrifying because the moment you share your story with the world, you give up control over what someone else will do with it. So you may write about one thing, and a reader may see it completely different, or you may think that the most important part of your story is the event, and your reader may be changed by one sentence that you almost deleted. You may think the story is about divorce or marriage or your first child being born, but your reader could recognize themselves in the loneliness before it, the wanting, the longing, the fears that came before the event. So you might think your story is about losing a parent, but your reader might see her own complicated relationship with her mother. You might think the story is about cancer, and someone else might read it and find the courage to make an appointment with their doctor. So you don't know and you can't know, but that's the point. You are not responsible for predicting who needs your story, you are responsible for telling it honestly. So I want to say that again. All right, but you are not responsible for predicting who needs your story. You are responsible for telling it honestly. Let that sink in and believe that with your whole heart. And I promise you that part of the writing will get easier. It's not always going to get easy, but it will become easier because then you're going to invest more in your story instead of worrying about how it's going to be received. So when I say all that, I also want you to know that not every experience belongs in your memoir. So it doesn't mean that you should write without considering your reader. Craft matters, structure matters, meaning matters, but you cannot write from a place of trying to manufacture a reaction in every person who reads your work. You cannot say, here is my story, and here is exactly how you're supposed to feel. That's not how storytelling works. It's more like a meeting place. You bring your experience, the reader brings theirs, and somewhere in the middle, something happens. And that's one of the gifts of memoir. Your life becomes a doorway into someone else's reflection. And that is why I encourage you to stop asking, is my story important enough? Instead, ask yourself what might someone recognize in this. Maybe it's the feeling of being overlooked, maybe it's the fear of beginning again, maybe it's the complicated love between siblings. Maybe it's caring for someone that you love deeply and you're in a new role or something like that. But you know, I think a lot of people can relate to that experience that happens for a lot of families right now. Um, maybe it's the realization that you're not too old to begin something new. Maybe it's the experience of finally being heard. You don't have to know exactly who needs the story. You only have to be willing to tell it. So I have a writing exercise for you to try. I want you to think of one story that you have been hesitating to write. Maybe you've told yourself that it's too ordinary, too personal, too embarrassing, too small. Now, complete these three sentences. I want to write this story because the part I'm most afraid to share is someone who reads this might recognize. So don't ever overthink that last answer. You may not know, and that's okay. You're not writing a prescription, you're just offering an experience for your reader. You're saying, This happened to me, this is what I learned, and maybe some part of it will meet you where you are. And sometime, years later, someone will tell you that it did when you least expect it to. It's gonna make your day, I promise. Because that's what happened to me this week, and I wasn't expecting it, and that's more of the beauty in it, and plus these three people who happened to comment all in one day are rather new in my world as well, and that is one of the great things about writing and sharing your story. It expands your world, um, it creates a community, and it's wonderful to get to know other people through your writing. So that's just one of the byproducts of writing and and certainly writing your memoir. Um, three people in one day gave me my own words back. Client remember reminded me that being heard is a gift. A reader reminded me why I wrote my memoir. A friend and professional acquaintance reminded me that words travel farther than we know. So that's what I want you to carry with you today. You don't have to be the biggest name in the memoir or author world. I know I'm not. You don't need the largest audience, you don't need to reach everyone. Impact is not measured only in numbers. Sometimes it's measured in one person who feels less alone, one reader who sees her life differently, one client who finds the courage to keep writing. So one person who hears your words and carries them into the rest of their day. So we don't always know where our words will land, and we may never know that that's not why you should write. But it and it doesn't mean that your words don't matter. So write the story, tell the truth, share what you know, and if you have something to say, say it. You never know who needs to hear it. So thank you for joining me today on the Making Memoir Magic podcast. And as always, I believe in you, I believe in the power of your story, and I believe that your readers are out there waiting for your story. So keep writing and keep making memoir magic. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Making Memoir Magic. I hope today's conversation inspired you to take the next step toward telling your unique story through memoir. Remember, your story matters and someone out there is waiting to read it. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It helps others find the show. You can also connect with me on my website at carychreisman.com, on Instagram at Carrie. And each Wednesday, I host a memoir magic writing where you get to join other writers to accomplish the often arduous task of getting words on the page. Until next time, keep writing, keep sharing, and keep making memoir magic.